Tarrant's Torment
by Do1phinDreamer
Summary: Fanfic of what happens nearly 3 years after Alice defeated the Jabberwocky and went home. Tarrant  Hatter  is seriously affected and isn't himself when she's not there. And for 3 years only Mallyumpkin has any idea of what's wrong with him..Alice/Tarrant
1. Introduction & Chapter 1

**Heya guys! First proper fanfic I've actually written! Hope you enjoy! I don't own Alice in Wonderland and I don't own the characters, I just wrote the fanfic. Also, if this is similar to anyone else's fanfic I am really sorry, it means I haven't read it and it's just I've been thinking of this plotline ever since I saw the movie! Please review, as I'm still new to this site, thanks! xx :) Anyways, that's enough of me, here's the story!**

**_INTRODUCTION_**

_Here I am. Alone in a room, one week before the 3__rd__ anniversary of Fraptious day…and my birthday. Just one, short week to go. Will I get my only present I wish for? The only present I want…and, alas, I ever will want if she does not come. Which I doubt, for it has been three long, hard, terrible years without her. Well, when I say terrible, I mean a good deal less cruel than the years before Fraptious day. The Wondrous White Queen keeps to her vows very carefully, and is kind and caring to everybody…even to me. But…it's not the same anymore. For I knew she would return. I knew. But now I know how unlikely it is she will ever return again. She is probably happily married, and either does not remember me, or does not want to see me again. Maybe her husband has been told about Underland, and says she is never to see me again. Maybe I am too mad. Maybe I am not worthy to be mad, for she says that all the best people are. I am clearly not one of the best people, for the best people would still have faith. She means more than anything and anyone in the world to me. I have been stuck on 2 letters of the alphabet for nearly 3 whole years: A, and L. But now also U. Just one, _

_Abandonment. Adoration. Alone. Agony. Angry. Ali…_

_Low. Lonely. Lov…_

_UNREQUITED._

_**CHAPTER 1**_

Everyone in the kingdom was very concerned. The most cheerful, mad, wonderful flutter-wagon champion in Underland was…wasn't himself? Was he ill, or was it something more than mere illness?

But one more than anyone else, and that would be one of his closest friends, Mallyumpkin. Nobody had any idea whatsoever what was going on with Tarrant, the Mad Hatter…except Mallyumpkin. She had an idea, but she needed to prove it. And she needed to speak with her dear friend Tarrant once again, and immediately. So she asked an ally, Beyard, to carry her to The White Queen's castle, which is where Tarrant lived, as he was her Hatter once more. Not that his hats will be up to standard right now, she sighed.

"Oh, Hatter, please tell me I'm right!"

Within 10 minutes, she had arrived at Memorial, and had gone inside to meet Queen Miwana, who had been equally concerned about her kind, amusing, entertaining, talented Hatter. She was pleased to see Mallyumpkin and was hoping she had good news for Tarrant, or at least some news for him.

"What brings you here, Mallyumpkin? Please tell me it's going to help him!"

Mallyumpkin knew exactly who 'him' was, of course. "Well, yes. That is the idea, anyhow. But I need to see him…urgently. Otherwise I won't be able to help him at all. I need to show him that I know what's going on and that I understand."

"You know what's going ON? My dear friend, what is happening? Please tell me, it will save me a big deal of grief!" She then whispered "I won't tell anyone else, I promise, I…"

"I know. It's…her. He…he…" And then she gave her a look. It was enough.

"Oh my…how didn't I guess it before? I happen to know he keeps a diary, for I gave it to him several years ago as a thank you for being such a loyal Hatter to me. He vowed he would use it well and often, and that he would keep it well guarded from everyone else."

"He never breaks his vows, not even for a minute."

"I know. Please see him, please do. It'll do him worlds of good."

"Thank you, your Majesty. Thank you. Thanks…" And she ran to see him, for she knew perfectly well where he was.

She opened the door, and gasped at the sight it beheld. There he was, her good, dear, friend, sitting alone, staring down at the floor. His eyes were not green, nor amber, nor red, nor orange. They were grey. Lifeless, completely lifeless. It broke her heart to see him in this way, and her concern doubled. His hats were very similar to his eyes. He knew he was always able to change the colour of fabrics without using anything at all, a secret he told only his closest friends, but they were grey. Lifeless, like his eyes were. She knew what she had to do. He hadn't noticed her entrance, all he saw was the floor – and his vision was permanently blurred with forbidden tears. His eyes always stung. And Mallyumpkin saw those tears. But she had to get her proof…

She ran to the bookshelf he kept in his room, and looked along until she found the greyest, most unhappy looking book in the bookcase. She knew she had found it. His diary, Tarrant's diary. She knew it was normally a beautiful golden amber colour, to match his sometimes-amber eyes. But as his eyes were constantly grey, so was the book. For a moment, Mallyumpkin stopped. I'm betraying my friend, she thought. That is a terrible thing to do, and I'm not going to hurt him even more than he has been hurt already. No. But then she told herself fiercely, "You're not betraying him. You'll be betraying him if you don't do this, he needs this help. He needs the proof. He needs the understanding. I've got to do this." And she opened the book, quickly glanced through, and cut out the last page with her ever present miniature sword. She climbed down again (the book had been on the top shelf so less people would be able to reach it without obilglidgon) and ran to her friend's side. She tapped him gently. "Hatter…Hatter…" No reply. "Hatter…HATTER…" Still no response. "HATTER!" She cried. His eyes flickered, as if he registered he might have heard something. "TARRANT!" She shouted, clearly very alarmed. He looked up at his friend, holding the usually recognizable paper, but his eyes were even more blurred with usual, so much so that he had to shut them. If he opened them, they would've left him. He couldn't bear that.

"Open your eyes, Hatter. You must open them. Your eyes will suffer." Mallyumpkin said, her voice full of care. "I won't tell a soul, you know I won't. I'm always your friend." At this, whether he opened his eyes or not, he knew he was going to let himself down. So he opened his eyes. He'd expected to… have a slight little let-down, and he was correct. That's exactly what he did. And Mallyumpkin wished she could comfort him more effectively. She found his obilglidgon and ate a little. Naturally she grew to about his size, and was able to comfort him. He couldn't stop once he'd started. He was red with embarrassment, his eyes a mix of deep, deep blue, black, and grey. It was more startling than his grey eyes. She knew it was a very worrying sign. After a while, she asked him, into the silence "What's wrong, Hatter? Everyone in the kingdom is petrified for you, and as for me and Miwana, we haven't had a good night's sleep in nearly 3 long years. You can tell me, you know – for I think I already know."

"You…can't, know. You…can't. And, I'm so sorry, but I cannot tell…anyone. Not even you, Mally. Not even you." And he sadly shook his head. "I'm sorry that I am betraying you, Mally." This was nothing like himself. He'd lost himself, for he had shattered into pieces.

Her own eyes filled with tears at this statement. "You could never betray me, Hatter. You know that. And…well…I DO know. And I've got…proof, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but please understand this is all for your own good. I promise you it was for your gain and not mine." And she held out to him the page of the diary. She showed him it was HIS diary page. Then, she quietly read it aloud.

"Ali…Lov…that was enough. I didn't even need to read the rest, but… it proved my suspicions were correct. It's ok, you know, Hatter. I just need you to admit it. It'll make you feel better, trust me, and that's why I need you to admit it. Just to me. You can, you know. I'll always stick by you, no matter what, anyhow!"

"There is nothing to confess…I mean admit…there's nothing at all. Nothing. I…I need to be alone for a bit, please." For he was feeling very worked up, he felt he was going to break down completely and he wanted to do so alone, so that nobody knew, except him.

**I hope you enjoyed! Again, please review! :D Thanks ;) More chapters to come! (If anyone's interested... ;P)**


	2. Chapter 2

_**OK, I know this would never happen - I mean, in the books, Alice and the Hatter despise eachother, this is based purely on the movie. And even then, I still know this would never happen, but this is just a random fanfic I've written. I hope you enjoy it even though it would never happen! XD Please review! :) Here's chapter 2 ;)**_

_**CHAPTER 2**_

"Hatter…you know I'm not going to give up. I don't believe in it." She then saw Hatter's terrified face, she saw the sunken eyes, she saw all the warning signs that he was going to… "Oh, Hatter…Hatter…Hatter!" And all of a sudden, out of the blue…

"I LOVE HER!" he shouted, the slightest glint of amber in his eyes, while simultaneously Mallyumpkin said quietly "Hatter…" And then, Tarrant did something he'd never done before. Everything around him, all his protective walls around how he really felt, crumbled down. Mallyumpkin knew just how serious this was, for that to have happened. She knew how he must've been feeling when she left, and declined his suggestion to stay with them…and him. He'd felt like he wasn't good enough. He'd felt she'd never come back. He felt isolated without her by his side. And she knew what was going on meant a lot, but she knew it would help him in the long-run.

"Hatter!" And she'd never felt so much sympathy in her entire life, for anyone at all. She also felt a pang of guilt, remembering how disinclined she'd been to believe it was Alice, and when he'd proved it WAS Alice, she had still been stubborn and didn't want to help her…she knew that the Hatter had forgotten this. He'd forgotten how loyal Alice was to her promises, because he was so scared he could no longer find the strength and faith to believe in her returning in a short time.

Mallyumpkin, after a long time, finally found her voice. "Don't be worried, Hatter. She's not going to be able to go without seeing you again. It just might take a while, and although she hasn't forgotten you, she's probably got a lot to do. And it's extremely unlikely she's married, for there is only one man she has any eyes for. She turned down the only engagement she'd ever had, last time you saw her."

"Who…who would she want? I can't think there'd be anyone who deserves her."

"Wouldn't be so sure if I were you…She'd never had a close friend before, not before you. And she said herself, remember, that YOU couldn't be real because you're too good to be true but she couldn't have dreamed YOU up because you're too special! She said that, the words did leave her lips. And you heard them. You're the one who told me."

"It was just the spur of the moment."

"NO!" Mallyumpkin cried. "No! You cannot believe that, surely! Of course it wasn't! The only man she's ever had any feeling for whatsoever is YOU! Don't you SEE? SHE will come back, and if for no other reason, to see you again! I recently peeked in her diary which she left behind, which was found, because I wanted to see what she'd said about me. And that's because I was terribly jealous of how much attention she was getting, and I was so disinclined to believe she was the one. And when you said she was I believed you but I was still stubborn, and wouldn't help her at all. I wanted to see whether she'd described me the way I deserved. She hadn't. She'd merely said I was your friend and that was enough for me to be likeable. And do you want to know what she said about you?"

"What…did she say?"

"She said…

_I've never, as long as I lived, met such a special and wonderful person as the Hatter. He is incredible, he's so kind and yet strong at the same time. He's clever and cunning. He's perfectly mad, and when I say perfectly I mean it. He's perfect in every way, and if I ever leave here I'll come back, even if it's just for him. I will see him again. I will never, EVER, forget him; for he is my …he's my special friend._

There. Word for word account, Hatter. And here's the proof." And she handed him the diary page, which actually said a lot more about Hatter. She went into great detail of how she feels about you. And just that paragraph alone shows how much you mean to her. I know you won't believe me, but…let me just say, that the feelings you have for her, aren't as unrequited as you've believed they are the last 3 years. She cares for you, so much. You have no idea. And maybe, maybe she doesn't love you the way you love her. But I'd very much doubt if she doesn't when she returns. I think she will soon. For she said, if you read on…

_I would be able to stay away from this place longer, much longer, if it wasn't for the Hatter. I could never leave him behind for long, but I'm afraid I must. I've got to turn Hamish down, (thank goodness, he's so proper he frightens me! Ugh. Not the man for me AT ALL! For there is only one man for me…) I've got to carry on my Father's magnificent dream for him now he is deceased, I need to tell my sister I want to control my own life, I need to tell my mother it'll be alright…I've got so much to do! I will so hate leaving him, and it could take a few years, but I vow I will return for the 3__rd__ anniversary of Fraptious day…and the Hatter's birthday, which to me is more important, almost. The almost because Fraptious day meant so much to HIM. I could never live without him being by my side once more, never. And if there's one thing I've never done wrong in my life, it's that I always keep what I vow, private or in public._

Here…" And she silently handed him another diary page. "And do you know how many pages there were in-between describing you?" Mallyumpkin mused

"No…"

"There were 8 long pages. And you've seen how miniscule her writing is, even smaller than mine!"

"I don't believe you…I'm sorry, Mally. I just can't."

"I thought you might say that, so I brought every single one. Apparently, she swallowed the dictionary while she was here. Clearly, a dictionary designed for every complimentary word in history!" Mallyumpkin laughed weakly, but the Hatter did not join her.

He read through them, his eyes still grey. They did not colour, but they had become silver, which was a good sign. He then, weakly, smiled a tiny bit, the corners of his mouth barely turning up, but for him in this current state of mind it was a big step forward. Mallyumpkin smiled with him, and her smile slowly stretched into a beaming grin, as his turned into a smile. A real smile. It was worth a lot to her, seeing how her friend was clearly starting to, slowly, recover from this state. His eyes, also, were turning greeny-grey.

"Surely…this cannot be Alice's...is it really?"

"Yes. It really, truly, is, I swear."

"She must've felt this way because she was back where she belonged, even though she didn't realize it, and maybe me because I was the first to truly believe, and to truly KNOW, that she was the right girl. That must be it."

"No, Hatter" she sighed. "No. Because this is from Fraptious day. And, it's not that, she said your birthday was more important, didn't she? You saw it with your own eyes. And that was a ruined affair, in a way. It wasn't even mentioned, so that wouldn't have pleased her. This is how she feels about you."

"It…it is? Are you…are you SURE, Mally?"

"Yes. I'm absolutely sure. Do you believe me? Do you feel better?" And then Mallyumpkin saw his face fall once more. She realized the loophole in what she'd been saying.

"That was how she felt…then. Not anymore. Maybe this is a vow she isn't allowed to keep. Her feelings must've changed. She probably doesn't even remember me…that is if she even remembers any of us, or anything to do with Underland anymore. You remember last time!"

"I just want to say, she was 6 years old. Now, she is 22. She hasn't forgotten Underland because she could never forget you. She says so. Trust her, Hatter. She won't let you down."

"Ok, Mally. I'll try. I want to trust her; I've just lost all hope, and all confidence. I'm scared. I don't like feeling this way. It's nothing like myself. I haven't been myself for nearly 3 long years!"

Mallyumpkin replied soothingly "But you will be when she comes back. When she comes back, you need to talk to her. You desperately do. Promise me you will!"

"I swear to it." came the reply.

**PLEASE read the note at the top, it's important! ;) Anyways, thanks for reading, please review XD **

**And thanks to the one person who's so far reviewed my (equally impossible to happen) Alternative Sceen of before Alice fights the Jabberwocky and Absolum (WHY HIM?) talks to her (and she remembers ;) )**


	3. Chapter 3

_**CHAPTER 3**_

Just as Mallyumpkin was about to leave Memorial, she met someone at the door. Alice was crying, her breathing was hoarse. Before Mallyumpkin could ask her what was wrong…

"Where is he? WHERE IS THE HATTER?" She alarmingly sobbed. She didn't even notice how large Mallyumpkin was compared to her usual size. And Mallyumpkin knew that Miwana had told her that something was wrong with Tarrant.

"Alice, Alice! Come with me, it'll do him good to see you. And by the looks of things, it'll do you good to see him. But first, I need to talk to you about something…urgently. Follow me, then I'll lead you to the Hatter."

"But…I need to see the HATTER!" she cried.

"I know. You will in a moment, don't worry. He's thinking things over anyhow."

Mallyumpkin told Alice she'd be back, and ran to Miwana.

"Where should I go? Alice is here, but she's really upset…she ran into me and was sobbing, and the first thing she said was 'Where is he? WHERE IS THE HATTER?". So I'm going to talk to her, but I don't know where I should take her…it needs to be somewhere where no one will hear and no one will come in…"

Miwana pondered for a moment before she replied, for she knew there wasn't a second to lose. "Go upstairs, to the 2nd floor, to the 1st room you'll find, on your right. It seems right for the occasion, and no one ever goes there. It's also got incredibly thick walls and door, so it'll be really warm as well as quiet, which'll comfort her I think. Please do talk to her; she needs a bit of confidence before she talks to the Hatter. It's not going to be an easy conversation, for either of them."

"Thank you, your Majesty." And Mallyumpkin ran off to Alice.

Alice was seriously distressed, so it was just as well that Mallyumpkin was still large from the obilglidgon. She spoke to her quietly.

"First things first. Before we get to the even more serious things, I owe you an apology. I treated you very badly last time, as I was jealous, I think, of the attention you were getting. I was very disinclined to believe you were her, and even when I knew you were I was stubborn, uncooperative and I wouldn't help you. I'm really sorry for that, and I promise you I will never make that mistake again. And I also need to apologize to you, but I had to take some pages out of your diary, which I have here as you left it behind." Mallyumpkin placed the book beside Alice, who was trembling. "I had to do it, because I needed it for my attempt at trying to help Hatter. Unfortunately, I don't think it's working. The only thing that's going to work is…him seeing and talking to you. And you know why as well as I do, don't you?"

Alice looked up at her bravely. Then she realized, and gasped. "The diary pages…"

Mallyumpkin looked up at her and met her stare, but didn't say a word.

Alice sighed deeply, and started to cry again. "Yes, I do love him! I do! He's so wonderful!"

Mallyumpkin smiled sympathetically. "I know he is. I know. And you need to tell him how you feel. You both need to have a serious heart-to-heart, it'll not only fix Hatter but it'll also do you worlds of good. Come on, let's go. I'll be outside; I'll be right behind you both. But I won't listen. Don't worry. The walls of Hatter's room are extremely thick, even thicker than here!" And she scurried off, Alice running behind her. As they arrived outside his door she slowed. Then she stopped. She looked scared stiff.

"Oh, Mallyumpkin, I don't think I can do this!" She wavered.

Mallyumpkin gave her an encouraging look, followed by a nod of the head. "You can. Go on. He's your friend." And Alice nodded in return, held her head up high, and entered cautiously. Hatter was thinking very hard when she entered, and hadn't the strength to look up. She saw him, gasped, let out a shocked sob, and looked back at Mallyumpkin. "It'll be fine, Alice" she whispered kindly. She then shut the door slowly.


	4. Chapter 4

**K guys, I know this is a really short chapter, but that's just how it ended up, otherwise I'd never have been able to have a break between chaps 4 and 5! (Well, when I WRITE Chap 5, anyway). I hope you've been enjoying my story so far: and thanks so much to the people (or person, last time I checked, not including me) who are reviewing my story! Also, thanks to much to the people who have been favouriting my story (and me, one person did, I know coz I got an email telling me so!) , adding it for alerts, etc. In general, thanks to the people who are reading and appreciating my story! :D Will write chap 5 soon! On with the story now! ;P  
><strong>**Do1phinDreamer xxxxx**

_**CHAPTER 4**_

Alice walked slowly up to Tarrant, and spoke in a quiet, aching voice.

"Hatter? It's me…"

The Hatter's eyes flickered, and then he recognized the voice. He was scared; he thought it was a delusion. He shouted in alarm. "It's come to delusions, now!"

Alice shut her eyes tightly for a moment, and then sat down next to him, and looked up at him, her hand resting on his. "If I were a mere delusion, could I do this?" And he looked up, very slowly.

"It's really you, isn't it?" He spoke out, his voice jumping a lot more than usual.

"Yes." Alice replied, doing likewise. Then she thought, and continued. "And I'm not here to tell you that I'm not going to come again. I've come because I had to get here in time for your birthday. I made a vow I would, and I know you've seen it, Mallyumpkin told me. And I couldn't stay away. I'm going to stay for a long while, for I've worked out that every day I spend here, is exactly a minute at home. So if I stay for one year, I'm only gone from home for 6 hours and 35 minutes."

"Really? So if you stayed for 2 years you'd only have been gone 13 hours and 10 minutes?"

"Exactly so. And I said I might be gone a few days…so I can be here as long as you want, in effect. I don't know exactly how long to stay, for I have given the decision to you. I came here and I heard that you weren't yourself, that something had happened to you, and I ran here as quickly as I could. I don't know what's wrong, but can't you tell me? Aren't I your friend? If you can't I'll understand, but…" And then she realized that Tarrant was looking closely at her eyes.

"I could ask the same of you." He replied, strangely nervous of meeting her again. She hadn't wanted her to see him like this.

"I was worried about you…" she stammered, and then a tear slowly made its way down her face. She tried to hide it from him, but he knew. He realized that at least she cared that much. He had to tell her. He swallowed… she did likewise… and then they simultaneously started weeping harder than they ever had in their lives. It had been a lot to bear. They couldn't stop, not for a full hour. (To pass the time, Mallyumpkin was reading Alice's diary pages, and then Tarrant's. She dreamt of the happiness those two would shortly share together.) They just let themselves go, for they knew there wasn't much else they could do. Then, into the silence, the Hatter spoke…

"You see, I have…I am…experiencing something that I can't really handle…I suppose it is my weakness. I am sorry; I never wanted you to see me in this…this state of mind. It's been ever since you left, you see. Things started to go downhill as soon as you left, and I couldn't even celebrate the death of the Jabberwocky and the renounce of the White Queen. I…I…fell apart, in effect, and I haven't been myself in 3 long, hard years."

"I am too. I cry myself to sleep every night, and I have a nightmare every single night, of someone…someone doing something that breaks my heart."

"I share your tears, and I share your nightmares too."

"I don't think you do… what are you experiencing? I can help you!"

"Ah…I have…I have…I…I…you tell me first."

"I…I…can't. It's…it's too hard. It's…to do with…to do with…"

"I…I can't either. I agree, it's too hard. It's…to do with…to do with…"

"YOU." They said simultaneously. They looked into each other's eyes.

"How so?" Alice asked.

"What do you mean?" Tarrant queried. He then answered Alice's question before she had a chance to give her response.


	5. Chapter 5

_**CHAPTER 5**_

"I mean…what I mean to say is…oh…" he breathed deeply. He bit his lip. He looked at her. "I can't risk losing you forever."

"I would never betray you. Not ever."

"I know…but I…I…I…I…I've been thinking of words only with the letter A and L for 3 whole years, with the exception of 1 word, beginning with U."

"What are they?" Alice whispered shakily.

"There were many. But the ones that really stood out to me were…Unrequited…Alice…and…and…this is the hardest to say. Oh, Alice…I…" and then he finally managed to say the words he had wanted to say 3 years ago. "I love you." His face was etched with fear and pain. And then he saw Alice look up at him. She couldn't believe her ears.

"You confessed to me, I knew you were always brave. And now I…oh…I love you too. I love…you…too…"

"I must…I must be going mad."

"Never forget, Hatter. The best people are. Oh, I love you so. How I have missed you."

And they fell into each other's arms, holding on to each other as if it were for dear life…and then they looked up at each other at the same time. Their eyes met, and Hatter's eyes were green once more. Then their eyes got closer…and closer…and closer…until their lips met at last.

Their kiss went on for an extremely long time; it was almost as if they couldn't live without it, as if it was their life blood. But at last, they drew apart, and opened their eyes. Then they smiled. Hatter hadn't smiled like he did then, for a very long time, long before Fraptious day, before the Red Queen had seized the crown. It was…amazing. He was in a daze. Mallyumpkin walked in a while later to see the two of them kissing once more, and then crying with their mirth. She smiled at them, relieved and delighted, a tear running down her face too. She coughed. They both blushed, and turned.

"Oh…"

"Mally! I'm so glad you're here again…I've just been, uh, talking to Alice. She's back! She's finally back! I've also been showing her my flutter-wagon. She wants to learn how, so I'm showing her."

Mallyumpkin raised her eyebrows and laughed. "Yeah, sure you were. I saw, y'know. So you're wasting your time lying, Hatter." She grinned, and then said. "Do you possibly have any pilshaber? I need some so I can return to my normal size again. And Alice needs to borrow some of your special liquid obilglidgon."

Tarrant's face went as red as the Red Queen's hair, but then he grinned, and pulled Alice towards him. She rested her head on his ever present shoulder. Mallyumpkin smiled at them both, and the Hatter replied "Of course I have pilshaber. Here you are. And here's the special liquid obilglidgon, but don't use too much! Here's the pipette to go with it." And he passed them to her.

"Mallyumpkin, please pass me the you-know-what's" And she winked at Mallyumpkin, who winked back. She passed her the presents, and it was already quite a well sized pile. Then she added the liquid obilglidgon, and the pile proved to have about 100 presents in it, all carefully wrapped and decorated.

"Who are they FOR?" Hatter asked, grinning but surprisedly.

Mallyumpkin snorted. "Seriously? You can't guess? Who's birthday is it next week?" And she went into a fit of giggles.

He laughed, and then asked, puzzled. "Are you seriously saying those are…for ME?"

Alice laughed. How sweet, how beautiful her laugh it, he thought. How I have missed that laugh. Alice then beamed, and said "Of COURSE they're yours! Who else would I want to buy about 100 presents for? Besides, who else I know has a birthday next week, apart from maybe the Jabberwocky's slain, rotten head?" He laughed with her, and the corners of the mouth looked very much like Chess' for a moment he was so greatful, and shocked, and delighted. "Thank you very much Alice" he croaked, in the voice he usually had when his eyes were changing from amber to green. His eyes were now the most brilliant green, dancing and twinkling like the last 3 years of despair had never happened. Mallyumpkin then said "How about we go see Miwana? She probably wants to see you, Alice, and she'll be over the moon to see you back as yourself at long last, Hatter" And they skipped along the passage, joking and laughing, Alice's arm round Hatter's back and his likewise.

Miwana noticed the very strange sight, and, like Tarrant had earlier believed when he had seen Alice, she thought she was having a delusion. Then she realized, and the beam on her face was exquisitely beautiful, but still elegant, as The White Queen always was. She spoke

"Finally enjoying yourself again, Hatter? Finally back, Alice? You've finally…"

"Yes. And now he's going to teach me how to flutter-wagon!" Alice gushed.

She was ecstatic. "I'm so happy for you both!"

Tarrant raised one eyebrow, laughed, and said "So am I, your Majesty. So am I."

_I cannot believe it. Alice…and me. At last. She has returned to me, and I feel as if my life is saved…I would've done something drastic before too long if it wasn't for her. She is the most wonderful girl in the entire world, and although it's much too soon, I'm going to propose to her when the right moment comes, and even if she does not accept, she'll know how much I love her. I'm not even afraid to admit it anymore…which reminds me, I'll have to tell my dear friends. Only dear Mally, who has stayed so close by me all this time, and the dear White Queen, who is wondrous in every way. And of course, Alice knows. I am the luckiest man alive to be with her. I love her with all my heart, soul and mind. Every time I hear her voice I feel as if I'm soaring in the sky. Every time I feel her touch I feel as if I wish to cry with mirth, like I did yesterday. Every time I see her face I want to flutter-wagon the night away. Every time I smell her scent I feel as if I'm overwhelmed with the sweetest flowers ever to live. Every time I taste her warm embrace, and her gentle lips, I feel as if my life is a treasure box of magical wonder. I've finally regained my muchness…for when Alice left, she took it with her. I shall never leave her. I shall never let her go…well, I will, naturally. I can't believe she's actually back, and at Christmas, a holiday the Upper-lands celebrate and the day Alice goes back to visit her parents, I (if Alice accepts this idea, of course) am to go with her, and before we leave, we are to explain all about Underland – which truly is, as Alice used to say, Wonderland, now that she's here with me - until they believe us, and propose something in that THEY come to Underland for the holidays instead of Alice going there, so that we can stay together. I mean, that's what you'd do, apparently, if you were happily married in the Upper-lands…I hope she accepts my proposal. I know I'm rushing into things, but I can't help it anymore. I should ask someone about it…not Mally, I've put too much burden on her courageous shoulders already…but I might ask Chess. He's surprisingly wise when it comes to topics of this calibre. I must tell him the news! My life is wonderful again. I must go, though, or I shall miss out on a minute of Alice! And we're to have our first Flutter-Wagon lesson together!_

_Also, before I go, this book is now Amber once more. I am so happy; it means that I'm back as myself once more, hats and all…_


End file.
